Maoris, music, first sleepover, cooking and cleaning

Yesterday P and I finished watching Whale Rider. We watched it in two sittings, when T was asleep, since I thought parts of it might be a little too intense for him. I love this story of a girl who loves and respects (it seems, from my perspective) the heart of her traditional culture while confronting its sexism and showing the kind of leadership that brings out the best in everyone. And there are many tidbits in it to learn about Maori culture, how traditional cultures can change when they collide with modernity, whales, and probably more I'm not remembering now. I'm glad we watched it, and P liked it.

I noticed that in the hours after we finished the movie, P did a lot of singing in a bold, full voice that reminded me of some of the singing and chanting in the movie. I hadn't heard such a strong, supported tone from her before. Talk about unexpected learnings!

Tonight P is having a friend, Q, for a sleepover for the first time. Q is polite and reasonable to be around, but she's a very picky eater. I fixed a healthy dinner based on foods P thought Q liked, but Q ended up eating perhaps a tablespoon of food. P was cranky and didn't eat much either. UnschoolerDad and I enjoyed thinking throughout the evening about how to help the girls have a fun, peaceful time with each other and how to get some food into them. When things got kind of tense and frenetic at one point, we proposed watching a video, which brought the energy down nicely and provided an opportunity for me to put various kinds of finger food in front of the girls and T without saying anything (a strategy I picked up from Sandra Dodd). It all got eaten. When I thought it was probably time to transition from video to winding down for bed, I offered all the kids the choice of another cartoon short or a little ice cream. They chose the ice cream, but P and Q were too full to finish theirs. Tummy and transition victories achieved! Sleep hasn't quite arrived yet, but they're winding down and P is actively agitating for quiet, so perhaps it will happen soon. Hopefully Q won't think P is too much of a stick-in-the-mud. I'm trying, mostly successfully, to keep my cool and help the girls keep theirs. [Edit later: Sleep came quickly, and not as late as I thought it might. Getting ready for bed and winding down seem less difficult when there is a friend to share them with.]

Getting ready for Q's arrival was interesting. I had asked P to help me pick stuff up so I could vacuum. She wasn't interested in doing that, but she could see that I had a lot to do in the kitchen, so she did do quite a bit. Then she launched into her favorite chore, spot-mopping the floors with a rag. When she tired of that and I was still finishing up with cleaning the kitchen, she asked if she could work on prepping a monkey platter for snacks/the first part of dinner. She did almost the whole thing (cheese, olives, boiled eggs; I cut up some cantaloupe). Her prep skills are really coming along. I appreciated not having to do all the food prep myself. And it's nice for me to notice that P can be very helpful, voluntarily and cheerfully, if I let her take the lead in how she wants to help.

Oh, and everyone ate that food.

It's lovely how, if I don't try to force a particular outcome (eating a particular food, doing a particular chore, etc.) but instead just leave the door open, the kids will find their way through the door far more often than I might expect.